Mine
by Theotherhalfofdarkness
Summary: Izaya doesn't understand why Shizuo has become so strange recently. He always knew Shizuo could still surprise him, but this was a whole new level of strange from the blond monster. Shizuo didn't know that messing with Izaya could be so fun, and more importantly how cute Izaya's reactions can be. Featuring a Tsundere!Izaya and a smooth Shizuo who refuses to take no for an answer.
1. Chapter 1

"I'm going to break you," Shizuo said with a smirk like a crescent moon at night.

Izaya felt a shiver run through his body as he looked up at the blond. He shouldn't be feeling this emotion, fear. It was like being dumped with a bucket of ice water on a cold winter morning. Why, why now? He had never been afraid of the blond monster of Ikebukuro, but now he couldn't say he was not afraid. He was afraid. Afraid of the blond who stood seemingly several feet taller than him when it was only about a foot. Afraid of what that uncharacteristic grin held in store for him.

He wanted to run. Not for amusement or pleasure like he normally did. But because he wanted to live. He couldn't escape though. Somehow, the blond had backed him into a dead-end alley and he had nowhere to turn. His knife lay at the entrance where the blond had smacked it from his hand. Laying on the cold ground like a diamond among dirt. He needed his knife if he wanted to get out alive.

He didn't think he'd get out alive.

Masks, masks were what he needed. They'd saved him before and they'd save him again. If he could protect himself behind one, hide what he felt, then maybe Shizuo would become afraid of him instead. Maybe he could still turn the tables. Words were always his favorite weapon anyways; he'd take words over a blade any day.

Right?

Izaya grinned, feeling more forced than ever. "Oh? And how do you plan to do that, Shizu-chan?"

"You think me so dumb, Iz-a-ya?" Shizuo drawled, leaning uncomfortably close to him. Izaya leaned back as his face came closer, realizing that he was conceding ground to the blond monster. "I've been watching you, Izaya. You who watches everyone like you're some god. You're nothing but another human hiding behind ego and pride. You're just like everyone else, you just don't realize that yet."

Shizuo brushed some of Izaya's hair back with one hand. Izaya flinched at the contact, thinking that it'd have been much more violent than the gesture was. "Don't worry though, Izaya," Shizuo practically cooed. "I'm going to help you realize. I'm tired of our little games that you lead me in a merry chase. I think it's time I lead you in one instead. I'm going to knock you off that throne of yours and I'm going to make you see what you are."

Izaya gulped, feeling like a bowling ball was in his throat. Words were failing him, his once trusted ally. He was left abandoned on an island entrapped by a sea of blond hair and glinting hazel eyes. Izaya tried to look for a way out, through the maze of jumbled words. He had no compass to guide him and no map to follow, he was lost. He could only keep his mask in place by sheer willpower more than anything else. The glue was coming undone but he pressed it more firmly to his face, hoping it'd get him through this encounter.

"What am I then, Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked in a sing-song voice. His eyes looking anywhere but at the bartender dressed man.

"Mine," the single word was whispered in his ear. Shizuo backed off from Izaya as suddenly as he had approached. His smile turning from a mocking smirk to something… else, in a matter of seconds. Izaya couldn't put words to what this new smile expressed, because he had never seen such a smile before. At least, one directed at him. Baffled by the strange behavior, Izaya was left dumbstruck as Shizuo turned and left the alley, leaving him behind. What had just happened? Who had that been, really? It certainly couldn't have been Shizuo. Shizu-chan was like a fire next to gasoline, hot and explosive. This Shizuo he had faced was more like a smoldering blaze, casting an orange glow into a room, the only warmth in a winter night.

'Mine,' such a possessive word. How dare that blond lay claim to him? He, who stood above all others and watched, was not belonging to someone. Not to mention they hated each other! They thought daily and he drove Shizu-chan up a wall! Why would Shizuo ever want him? Why would anyone in Ikebukuro, or anywhere else, want him? Except to kill him or use him to gain information, of course.

Nothing about this Tuesday afternoon made sense, did he even want it to make sense? Pulling his phone out of his pocket Izaya dialed Shinra's number. Exiting the alley, he held the device to his ear to listen to the familiar ring.

"Shinra speaking," the underground doctor said as he came on the line.

Izaya bit his lip, unsure of what to ask first. "Have you seen Shizu-chan recently?"

Shinra laughed, sounding exactly like the mad-man he was. "Of course I have. He's been coming by a lot these past couple of weeks to talk with Celty. Why, if I wasn't confident in Celty's love for me I'd be jealous of the two spending so much time together. Why do you ask?"

Celty? Was she the reason Shizuo was so… weird? "Well I just saw Shizu-chan and he wasn't acting like… like well Shizu-chan."

Shinra's voice had lost in playful edge when he spoke next. "Izaya, are you okay? You sound pretty shaken up. Did Shizuo hurt you for real this time or something?"

"No, nothing like that… I don't want to talk about it actually. Thanks for the information, Shinra." Izaya quickly hung up and pocketed the phone before Shinra could say anything else. Belatedly, he realized he had actually been nice to Shinra.

He was really off his game today.

It was all the protozoan's fault, Izaya mused as he walked home. If he hadn't been acting so strange than Izaya wouldn't act so strange too! This all had to be some game that Shizuo and Celty had decided to play upon him. There wasn't an explanation for it otherwise. At least, not one that he could see.

Yeah, it was just a game. Issue with this game was, Izaya wasn't in control. Shizuo had taken the steering wheel from him and he was helpless to watch as the blond drove them both to regions far from familiar. He needed to regain control of the situation, but he didn't know how he could do that. For once, he just didn't know. And he really didn't like not knowing.


	2. Chapter 2

After that experience, Izaya decided to play it safe and avoid the blond until things went back to normal. At least, he thought he was avoiding the blond. As he found out three days later, it was actually the blond letting Izaya avoid him.

He was walking through his own neighborhood, not even in Ikebukuro. There was no possible reason for him to run into the blond monster. No reason at all. Yet, rounding a corner his face came smacking into contact with a firm chest. Stepping back, Izaya gave a hasty apology. A grocery bag in hand containing his dinner for the night. Izaya ducked to the left, trying to get out of the way of the other person. The weather forecast called for rain and he wanted to be home before it actually began to fall. The person in front of him grabbed his shoulder before he could do anything and that was when he realized who it was he had actually run into.

"Shizu-chan…?" Izaya questioned, looking up at the blond debt-collector in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Rather than answer Shizuo asked a question instead. "What are you doing, Izaya?"

The raven didn't miss the fact that Shizuo used his name again rather than 'flea' like he normally did. A testament to the new 'game' the two were playing. Izaya felt with his free hand for his knife, ready to pull it out if the situation turned deadly. "I'm not doing anything Shizu-chan is that's what you're concerned with. I don't actually have any plans to destroy anything for once. So you can go home now."

"Hnnn," Shizuo responded. "I don't want to go home though. I want to spend time with my Izaya-chan."

Izaya spluttered, so shocked was he. "What did you call me!?" he demanded, not liking how his voice spiked an octave.

Shizuo grinned smugly. Leaning down so they were the same height, Shizuo removed his sun-glasses. "What? If someone's cute you call them 'chan' don't you?"

Izaya pulled his knife out and held it to Shizuo's face, trying to put some distance between them again. "I'm not cute!" he protested, feeling very uncomfortable. Was this how Shizuo felt when he called him Shizu-chan?

Shizuo frowned at the blade in his face. Pocketing his glasses, Shizuo moved faster than Izaya was used to seeing from the strength based man. Shizuo took the knife from Izaya and pocketed it alongside the glasses. "I don't like my Izaya-chan playing with things that can hurt him." Shizuo straightened while Izaya glared.

"Give me my knife back, that was my favorite one!" Izaya hated how he was losing his composure so much over this. He wanted to bite his tongue to stop himself from speaking, but he knew that wouldn't help when the blond came to play.

"No," Shizuo said simply.

"I've always used knives! It's what I'm good at. Are you really going to leave me without a weapon to defend myself in these streets?"

Shizuo seemed to be thinking about it, making Izaya hopeful to get the weapon back. Shizuo wasn't really wanting Izaya to get killed, despite how often the pair used to say such things. "Well, I guess I'll just have to make sure my Izaya-chan gets home safe."

Izaya wanted to punch something. "I'm not yours and there's no –chan at the end of my name! Go away!"

Shizuo grinned. "How will I protect you then though? I think I'll escort you home." Shizuo headed off, pausing to look back over his shoulder. "Come on, Izaya-chan. We wouldn't want you getting lost, now would we?"

Izaya almost turned and went in the opposite direction, even if it meant that he'd have to walk an extra ten minutes back to his apartment. The only thing that really stopped him from doing so was the rain that began to fall. Izaya sighed and pulled his hood up, trudging after the blond. When he caught up, the blond took Izaya's bag from him. "Hey," that was the second thing Shizuo had taken from him tonight.

Shizuo opened the bag up and frowned at the contents. A week's supply of cheap ramen and a plastic bottle of water. "Is this all you eat?" Shizuo asked. Izaya could have sworn there was a hint of concern in the blond's voice. That couldn't be right though, this was a game. Shizuo didn't actually care if Izaya was eating healthy or not.

"No, of course not," Izaya lied anyways. Even if the blond didn't care he didn't want to have such a conversation. Shizuo growled but added Izaya's bag to the few he was already carrying. Izaya hadn't noticed those bags in his hands before. Looking at the vegetables, visible through the plastic, Izaya wondered why the protozoan was even here. Surely it couldn't be to do the shopping? That could easily have been done at Ikebukuro…

The rain started coming down harder. Izaya shuddered and pulled his jacket closer around himself, hoping Shizuo hadn't noticed the action. He had some really bad luck this week. The blond smirked at Izaya's appearance. "You look like a drowning kitten," Shizuo teased.

"Yeah? Well you don't look much better, you don't even have a jacket."

"Don't need one. I'm fine with being wet, it never bothers me. You look like you'll catch a cold out here though."

"I will not," Izaya protested. The two walked in silence past that until they reached the raven's apartment building. The streets were mostly empty so Izaya didn't have to worry about people questioning why the two of them were being seen together. Not that anyone in this district would connect Shizuo and Izaya together, as they were only famous in Ikebukuro.

As they walked, Izaya kept his eyes on the alleys they passed. Just because the general public didn't know where he resided didn't mean his enemies didn't know. He'd had a few bad attacks in these very streets, and as he was currently knifeless, he didn't want to be jumped. Shizuo seemed to become aware of the raven's darted looks and quick flinches to loud noises. Slowly, Izaya became aware that Shizuo had become closer in the distance between them. What was the blond doing getting closer to someone like him? Then he saw an alley where a few no good people happened to be looking at him. The blond beside saw them as well and gave a fierce scowl such as that a lion would give prey. The men in the alley grimaced and slinked back into the darkness, their eyes promising to get the raven in the future.

Had Shizuo actually, protected him? From real danger? Why? What reason would Shizuo have to protect him from people who had very good reason not to like him. Izaya wanted to ask but was afraid. What if the blond left because he asked? If he didn't have his knife he didn't want to be separated from the blond. Not that he couldn't take care of himself, of course. He just wanted his knife back.

It was his favorite after all.

The apartment was just as he left it earlier when he stepped out to get his dinner. Clean, if in a slight disarray from papers, and cold. The cold was due to the fact he lived high up where the heating didn't quite reach as well as it could. Izaya had paid to have it fixed months ago but so far nothing really changed, not that he cared. Namie said it wasn't even cold up here, so he hadn't bothered to complain about the temperature again.

Shizuo had followed him into his home. Izaya didn't quite know what to do with the blond guest. "I can take care of myself from here," Izaya said slowly. The blond shut the door and locked it, kicking his shoes off. "You don't have to be here."

Shizuo smiled at Izaya, and it was that foreign smile that Izaya couldn't place a name too. The one that he saw only in movies, great acting on Shizuo's part. Enough that he should be in movies like his brother. "I'm here because I want to be here, Izaya-chan." The raven scowled at the name. Shizuo went to the informant's kitchen with confident strides. To Izaya's knowledge, Shizuo had never been here before. How did he seemingly know the layout of his apartment?

Izaya reluctantly followed Shizuo to his kitchen. "Have you eaten, Izaya-chan?" Shizuo asked as he set the bags on the counter.

"No, that's why I was out. To get dinner."

"Instant Ramen isn't a healthy dinner," Shizuo spoke as though Izaya was five. "You need something better than that. I'll cook dinner for you."

"You really don't have to do that!" Izaya protested hurriedly, moving in front of the blond to stop him from doing anything of the sort. "I had a large lunch so I'm not really hungry anyways. The ramen is just fine."

"I know for a fact you skipped lunch. You were at Shinra's place. Don't lie to me, Izaya-chan. I don't like it when you lie to me."

"I lie all the time, I've done it before. I'll do it again."

Shizuo grunted. "Well not to me anymore. I know when you lie, Izaya-chan."

Izaya gaped, probably resembling a fish. "How can you know that?"

Shizuo ruffled Izaya's hair, much to the raven's horror. "That's for me to know. Now what do you have in the fridge for me to cook?"

Izaya got over his shock and quickly slid in front of the fridge. He didn't want Shizuo in there, not at all. He wanted the blond out of his apartment, he wanted him away from here. He wanted Shizuo to scream his name without the 'chan' and to throw a signpost at him.

"Izaya-chan. I can't cook for you if I can't get into the fridge. I'm getting hungry here too and I know you are."

"Am not," Izaya said as his stomach contradicted him.

Shizuo just chuckled in response, an easy smile on his face. He gently pushed Izaya out of the way to get to the fridge. Izaya couldn't understand why he was so easily fumbling around Shizuo. Why he let the brute do what he wanted. He should be diving for another knife and actively trying to force the blond out of his home, not standing here dumbstruck. And why was Shizuo being so gentle with him anyways? He was used to being thrown against a wall by this overly strong man, not gently pushed aside. Not being cooked for. Not having someone carry his groceries for him. What was Shizuo gaining from doing this?

Shizuo frowned as he looked into Izaya's fridge. "There's no food in here," Shizuo stated as he looked through the empty box.

"That's why I went to the store," Izaya responded, leaning against the counter.

"For a week's supply of ramen? What about a gallon of milk or some eggs? Vegetables?"

"I didn't think of it," Izaya shrugged.

Shizuo looked at Izaya in serious concern. "How can you not think of something so simple? Do you just eat ramen all the time?"

"I go to Russia Sushi every now and then."

"No wonder you're so thin. Alright, I've got some stuff to make stir fry with. Do you at least have cooking utensils?"

"I'm not a savage," Izaya grumbled as he showed Shizuo where he kept his cooking supplies.

"Of course you aren't, Izaya-chan. But I'm beginning to think you don't know how to take care of yourself. Come here." Suddenly Izaya felt himself being lifted off the ground. He panicked and flailed a bit, landing a solid hit to Shizuo's thigh, not making the man even flinch in pain. Shizuo set Izaya on the counter top by the stove, legs dangling off the edge. "Watch closely, Izaya-chan. I'll show you how to cook stir-fry."

"I know how to cook, you know."

"Then this will be a review for you," Shizuo responded easily. He began pulling ingredients out of his grocery bags, completely ignoring Izaya's sad excuse for dinner.

"You don't have to waste your food on me," Izaya grumbled. "You can just go home."

"I'm not wasting my food. I'm cooking," Shizuo stated, with a small glare to Izaya. "Making a meal for you is never a waste."

Izaya felt his cheeks get warm, much to his dismay. He groaned, burying his head in his hands. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you, Shizu-… Shizuo," he grumbled.

"Well you don't need to worry yourself about that," Shizuo laughed. "I know exactly what I'm going to do with you."


	3. Chapter 3

Izaya never wanted to ever have to admit it, but Shizuo's cooking was good. That and maybe it was because he hadn't really eaten anything in the last few days. Work often got in the way of proper meals and he never thought of eating when he was busy. Despite Shizuo's cooking being above excellent, Izaya could only stomach about half his bowl before he got full. The disappointed look Shizuo gave him almost made him try to stomach the rest. Then he remembered that he shouldn't really care about what the other thought.

After dinner Shizuo even did the dishes for him, telling Izaya to just rest, as if Izaya had recently been injured or something. When the dishes were finished, Shizuo came out to the living room where Izaya was now lazily flipping through channels on TV.

"Do you need anything else, Izaya-chan?" Shizuo asked as he stood behind Izaya, watching the channels be flipped through.

Izaya stopped on a news channel before looking over his shoulder at Shizuo. "What is your aim here anyway?"

Shizuo had the audacity to look surprised. "My aim? I have no aim, Izaya-chan." Despite his words the blond was smirking. "Why do you ask? Do you not like having me around, Izaya-chan?"

"I don't like having you around! You're supposed to chase me and throw things and yell. Not be whatever this is." He gestured vaguely to Shizuo who had pulled out a cigarette.

Shizuo grinned around the cancer-stick. "I told you not to lie to me, Izaya-chan. Don't make me have to give you anymore warnings."

Izaya felt his face get warm at having been ratted out for lying. He hated that he actually liked the things Shizuo was doing for him, even if it made him feel like a girl. The fact that he was okay with being treated like a girl made him even more upset. This wasn't how he was supposed to be. If anything he should be taunting Shizuo right now, trying to ignite his temper into exploding. "What'll you do if I lie again then?" He was half scared to hear the answer.

Shizuo took the cigarette out of his mouth and leaned close to Izaya. "I guess I'll have to find other-ways to make you quit lying."

Izaya may not be a fan of romance, at least outwardly, but hanging around Erika enough gave him all the knowledge he needed. Izaya scrambled back incase Shizuo decided to close the small gap between them. In his haste he managed to fall off the couch, a clumsy dumbass move on his part.

He didn't know what's worse. Him falling off the couch, or that not five seconds later Shizuo was there helping him up. He didn't know if his face would ever get back to a normal shade or temperature. "You know," Shizuo said lightly. "I normally don't kiss on the first date, so there's no need to be afraid."

"Date!?" Izaya felt his stomach drop at the very word, his eyes going wide. What game was this even? This wasn't their normal game of cat and mouse. This was territory Izaya didn't know how to swim.

"The first of many." Shizuo's eyes gleamed. The blond looked at the clock on Izaya's wall, it was getting late. The trains would stop running here soon. "Well I have to go." Shizuo went to the door and pulled his shoes on. "Have a goodnight, Izaya-chan."

Izaya had followed the blond to the door and now stood with the door open while Shizuo exited. "What's that? No last remark or jab?"

Shizuo looked slightly offended. "You make it sound like I'm playing a game here." Suddenly he reached out and grabbed the raven's hand, pulling it to his lips for a quick kiss. "I promise there's no game going on here, Izaya-chan."

His heart had to have actually stopped. Had to. "I- I thought you didn't kiss on the first date." Damn the stutter in his voice.

"I meant on the lips." Shizuo smiled. Then he turned and… and he was gone down the hall.

Leaving Izaya standing at the door like a love-struck moron. Shizuo glanced behind him and smiled, then winked.

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Shizuo pulled out his phone out of his pocket as he walked down the street. He scrolled down through his list of contacts looking for the person he needed to talk to right then. He was at a sort of wall, unable to figure out where to go.

Erika's name was highlighted on his phone. He stared at it for a moment, his thumb over the call button. Would she really help him right then? She'd probably be more than willing to, he just didn't know if the help would actually 'help' him.

Scrolling back up Shizuo tapped Celty's name and began to text. He ended up sending quite a long text because he didn't know how to explain simply to her what had been transpiring the past few days, or how to phrase his question. He was lucky the Dullahan was still awake.

'Are you sure you want to do this?' was her reply.

'Yes.'

Shizuo pocketed his phone and got on the last train for the night. He yawned as he found a fairly empty bench to sit on. The phone in his pocket buzzed and he pulled it back out, turning the brightness down in the dimly lit car.

'Well, how did he take to what you did? Did it seem like he enjoyed it or was angry about it?'

'He yelled a lot but his face was really red.'

'Sounds like he liked it then but didn't want to admit it.' Shizuo was glad he had friends like Celty he could rely on for these situations. He liked to believe that he had some amount of instinct that guided him in what to do, but if he was honest with himself; he was pulling all his moves off of trashy TV and books. He needed real help right now, he never actually planned to get this far.

He held his phone in one hand, waiting for the thing to light back up with a response. With his free hand he produced another cigarette and popped it in his mouth, lighting it. Only then did he have the conscious to look around and make sure no one was nearby who would run their mouth at him for smoking on a train. Thankfully the only other person on board was a sleeping middle-aged man.

The phone lit up again. Shizuo turned his eyes to it and eagerly devoured the information that Celty passed onto him. He took a long drag on his cigarette and sighed after he finished reading. He sent a quick thank you to Celty and pocketed the device again.

He hoped this would work.


	4. Chapter 4

After that day Izaya was on guard near constantly. He had stopped taking trips to Ikebukuro except for business, and then only if absolutely necessary. He spent most of his time at home, and only went out during the day when he was sure that Shizuo had to be working. Still then, he went out in various disguises to avoid seeing the blond.

He had a few close encounters despite these precautions. Both times he had been returning to his apartment after various dealings in Ikebukuro. He had spotted the blond across the street from him, walking with another man. Izaya had been lucky enough to be wearing a non-descript hoodie that day. He pulled the hood up quickly and faced the other way. He slowed his stride and tried to hide his body language. He must have succeeded because no blond monster came after him.

Another time had been right outside his apartment. Why the blond was there he didn't know, there was no reason for him to be here. He had left specific instructions with Namie to reject all visitors. The blond wasn't trying to get into his building though, he was just… standing there. Izaya was watching from around a corner, waiting for the blond to leave. Why was he standing there? Was this some stalking that the blond was doing?

It infuriated him that the blond was making him go through all these lengths to avoid him. He couldn't live his life like he wanted when he was hiding all the time. How long would this go on before the blond decided to give up? Worse than that, what if the monster didn't give up? Izaya was pretty good with his stamina, and patience, but he knew he couldn't last long like this. He had to have something change. Approaching the debt-collector was an equally unpleasant option. He didn't want to have to deal with the new Shizuo. The new man left him off his balance. He was always on the defense, watching for Shizuo to make the next move. This wasn't living. He was like a man waiting to draw his final breath, spending his remaining life counting down to the end. He needed to make a move. That decided, he shoved his hands into his pockets and came out of hiding. It didn't matter, Shizuo was already gone. Leaving Izaya to wonder if he had ever actually been there in the first place.

About a week after that Izaya tried to actively seek out Shizuo like before this whole fiasco. It wasn't hard, finding the monster of Ikebukuro wasn't a difficult task. What was difficult was riling the beast up like he had been able to before. Which was to say, he couldn't. At all.

"Why won't you get angry like before, Shizu-chan?" Izaya demanded, brandishing a knife at Shizuo.

"I just find it cute," Shizuo said with a shrug.

That threw Izaya for a loop. He stared at the blond in befuddlement, his head cocking to the side. "What's 'cute'?" he asked, making sure they both heard the air quotes in his sentence.

"How you keep trying to get my attention by making me angry." Now Shizuo was getting closer again. Izaya took a step back without conscious consent. The street was busy; people were staring again. One of such people was Tom, Shizuo's… boss? Izaya had never tried to get very detailed information on the man, as he wasn't as important as annoying Shizuo.

"You don't have to make me angry anymore, Izaya- _chan_. You have my attention all the time." Too late, Izaya realized Shizuo had plucked his knife right out of his hands. "I don't want to play those games, they hurt you. And I don't ever want to hurt you again, Izaya-chan. You're too fragile for it."

"Are you calling me weak?" Izaya growled, finally getting a reign on himself. Pushing his face against Shizuo's, confronting him.

"I'm calling you mine." Then as though to prove that statement, Shizuo kissed him on the forehead. The scene would have been mildly comedic given the gasps and shouts of surprise from the audience, if it hadn't been for Izaya's own shock.

He couldn't find the words to respond with.

So he ran.

Izaya realized later, in the refuge of his apartment, that Shizuo had made a really smart move. Now any time Izaya went out and tried to start a fight Shizuo could easily twist it into just the raven wanting attention. Which was _not_ what he was doing. Now he couldn't play with Shizu-chan, and he lost another knife. He'd have to buy more at this rate, and it was hard to find the kind he liked.

Izaya had never felt this trapped before.

The next day the trapped feeling only grew. Namie had come into the apartment to start her work, bringing in his mail like he asked her too. She scowled at him as she threw the stack of mail onto his desk. On the top of the stack was a red envelope with his name scrawled across in calligraphy. There was a heart on the end of his name. Just great. He glanced to Namie to see if she would say anything. She had gone to his files though and didn't look the least bit curious.

Izaya was worried about getting poisoned or something by opening the envelope. Despite his hesitations though he reached to the envelope and opened it up. Inside was a simple note and… a locket? Izaya set the locket aside and unfolded the note, dreading it already. He was surprised that the blond, if he had written this himself that is, actually has really nice handwriting. It wasn't elegant and curvy like Izaya's but it wasn't like a caveman's either, which was what he had always expected of Shizuo.

 _To my Izaya-chan._

 _You left me too soon yesterday, my little raven. I wasn't able to give you your gift and I felt you don't really want to see me right now anyways. Also until you come and see me, I will continue to send you gifts, though not as significant as this one._

 _I hope to see you soon._

 _Love, Shizuo._

Izaya wanted to gag. That had to be what his stomach was trying to get him to do right now, throw up his breakfast. He dropped the note like he had been burned by it. His stomach wouldn't settle down while he was still looking at the objects. He pushed his chair away from his desk and swiveled it to look out the window. This whole situation was… embarrassing, to say the least.

Very embarrassing. It needed to stop. He couldn't pretend none of it had happened because Shizuo wasn't taking that for an answer. Which left him with very few options.

Very few.

Later that night, long after Namie had left. He happened to stop by his desk to plug his laptop in before bed. The locket was still sitting there, oh so innocently. Izaya hesitantly picked it up, having thrown the letter away already. He intended to do the same with the locket. When he picked it up he accidently touched the clasp and it sprang open.

Izaya wasn't sure what kind of image he expected to see within the small gold heart. Some corny romantic thing like a rose or red heart? Maybe Shizuo was narcissistic and it was a photo of his face? It was none of those, instead it was a small illustration of the earth, one of countless available on the internet. Izaya frowned at the stock photo of the world. Why would Shizuo…? Then his eyes happened to fall on yet another small roll of paper that had fallen onto the floor without him noticing. Another note? Izaya picked it up, leaving the locket on the desk, and unfurled it.

 _Because you love humanity so much._

Later Izaya put the small scroll and locket in a box, which he then slid under his bed. He didn't think of it past that, and refused to believe that Shizuo's letter would be true. If he ignored Shizuo's advanced, the blond would have to leave him alone. He wasn't interested.

As Izaya was drifting off to sleep a stray thought pestered him. He wasn't interested, had he ever actually said that to the blond? Maybe if he said that then he'd finally be left alone? Groaning, Izaya rolled over and picked up his phone from the bedside table. After having laid in the darkness for what had to have been thirty minutes, the light hurt his eyes. He scrolled through his short list of contacts until he found Celty's number. He sent out a quick text to her, hoping she would see it soon.

 _I need Shizu-chan's number, probably best you don't ask too many questions ;)_

He was lucky that Celty happened to see the text within moments and responded. His down-luck was that she responded by doing exactly what he asked her not to.

 _I'm not going to just give you Shizuo's number. What are you even planning? Are you going to harass him over the phone too?_

He scowled at the screen. As brutally honest as the text was, he wished that people would quit thinking he was up to 'something'. Sometimes he was just going with the flow, he didn't plan everything.

 _I need to tell him something and it can't wait._

 _If you have business with Shizuo you can see him in person._

Izaya threw his phone onto the pillow beside him in frustration. He couldn't believe that in all his research on the blond he had never gotten his phone number. How stupid was that? And he called himself an informant, ha! He had just never needed it before.

Izaya picked up the phone again and found Shinra's number. He sent a text as well, asking for Shizuo's number. He didn't expect to have any luck with this either, but it was worth a shot. Waiting for a text back at least bought him some more time to lay in bed. Not dreading having to get up and go find Shizuo at night, because he was certain the blond was still out.

 _Here's the number_. Was the text sent back from Shinra, number attached. Izaya blinked in surprise, making a note to contact Shinra first from now on. Apparently the doctor was good for things other than treating his wounds and lecturing him on his health. Surprising.

Izaya debated between actually calling Shizuo versus texting him. He didn't really want to talk to the blond. But he wanted this over and done with as quickly as possible. Mind made up he pressed the call button and held the phone to his ear.

"What is it?" Shizuo growled into the receiver.

Izaya physically recoiled from the phone in surprise. Holding it away from his head. He hadn't heard Shizuo sound like that in a while. "Sh-Shizuo?" Izaya asked hesitantly, cursing himself for the stutter.

"Izaya-chan?" Shizuo asked, his tone changing. "I'm sorry, I didn't even know you had my number." What the hell, the blond was back to… the new normal? Being nice, he was back to being nice. "What are you calling for?" Izaya could practically hear the smirk in Shizuo's next words. "I bet you just couldn't wait to see me, couldn't you Izaya-chan."

"I never said yes!" Izaya blurted, not wanting to get distracted. He felt his face getting warm already and was thankful that they weren't meeting in person.

"Yes to what?"

"I never said yes to you. I never said I'd go out with you or anything, why are you doing this? Is it just to throw me off my game or what?" Izaya wanted to hang up the phone now. He sounded rushed, flustered. Unlike the informant that the world knew him to be.

"I know you haven't said yes yet." Shizuo was calm still. "I'm trying to get you to the point where you are comfortable saying yes. Then the real deal begins."

"What real deal?" Izaya demanded.

Shizuo sighed, as though there was something obvious Izaya was missing. "You're mine, Izaya-chan. I know that, and soon this world and you will know it. I just need to make you see it." That didn't answer his question at all. "And I've had my eye on you for a good long while, Izaya-chan. I should have acted sooner than this, far sooner. I'm sorry it took so long for me to come to you, but I promise I'm here to say."

"Don't say things like that." Izaya's voice did _not_ go up an octave. "It's corny as hell!"

"But is it working?"

"NO!"

"I'll be the judge of that," Shizuo argued. "Anyways, Izaya-chan. I've got to go now, business as usual. I hope to be seeing you soon though…?"

"You will not."

"Then you can expect a gift in the mail tomorrow~" Shizuo sang. Seriously, what was with this blond!? "Also I decided I kind of like these conversations at night. Gives me more time with my Izaya-chan. I'm going to start calling you every night around this time. If you don't pick up; you'll have a lot of messages to go through. Goodnight, Izaya-chan…" There was a pause in which neither hung up. Izaya knew Shizuo was waiting for him to say something, but he wasn't going to give the blond that satisfaction. "I love you," Shizuo said at last before hanging up.

His face had to be on fire. Love? Shizuo… he… he,

Had to be,

Playing him

For a fool.

Well wasn't he such a fool. Izaya drifted off to sleep with thoughts of the blond in his mind. If he had a choice he'd have wanted other thoughts in his head, but instead they were of Shizuo. What's worse was that these thoughts turned into dreams. And these dreams didn't consist of their normal fights.

When he woke up he wasn't sure if he actually wanted his dreams to be of how things used to be.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I hate writing Author's notes so I'll try to keep these things few and far between. I just felt the need to DEEPLY APOLOGIZE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART for the corniness of everything this fic is. I'M SO SORRY**

After that wonderful conversation a dreadful series of events started. Every day he would wake up and get a 'good morning' text form Shizuo. Twice a day he'd get a text asking if he had eaten yet and if the blond needed to come over to make something for him. Around midday he'd get either a letter or package with a gift and some corny love crap written on it. Then at night he'd get a goodnight call and, when he didn't pick up, text. He never responded to any of these things except for the occasional scream-text in all caps, demanding that Shizuo stop texting him.

He never did stop.

The gifts Shizuo sent him were a mix of silly romance kind of gifts, and actual things that were… kind of nice? Izaya didn't want to call them that, but they were items that he'd actually… enjoy, hard as it was to say. Sometimes he'd get dark chocolates or flowers. He had so many flowers by this point that his apartment might as well be a garden. Some of the more Izaya-like gifts included ootoro, a black hoodie that was two sizes too big, and a book about psychology that Izaya hadn't read yet.

Izaya, despite being well off in life, didn't have a lot of 'things'. This minimalist spending habits is also why his fortune is so large. Now his apartment was full of stuff though because of Shizuo. Izaya knew for a fact that the blond didn't make that much money. To be sending him gifts was probably breaking the blond's bank account. Sitting at his desk at midday, Izaya wondered if Shizuo had to be changing his spending habits for him. Was the blond going broke here soon? The thought of it made Izaya feel…. Just a bit guilty. Not a lot of guilt mind you, just a little.

Izaya picked up his phone from where it lay beside a vase of roses. Maybe he could hack the blond's bank account and transfer just a bit of money to repay him for the gifts… would that be so bad? That didn't sound very much like him though, to do something nice like this. What he should be doing is let the blond do what he wants until he realizes it's futile. Izaya should be laughing at Shizuo, not… not feeling guilty.

Izaya groaned, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands, trying to get his head on straight. It had been over three weeks since this treatment had begun, why was he still going? Shouldn't Shizuo have gotten the message by this point?

His phone vibrated on his lap and Izaya didn't even have to look to know who it was from.

 _Have you eaten lunch yet?_ Followed quickly with, _do you need me to bring you something to eat?_

Izaya stared at the message for a few moments. Uncertainty welled within him, indecision like a boulder on his back. It was no longer a matter of if he should, but if he could. He couldn't. It wasn't in his nature to do something nice. He wasn't a nice person, he just wasn't. He was a mean, narcissistic, manipulative person.

He couldn't.

He couldn't.

He couldn't.

He could.

Izaya called Shizuo.

"Izaya-chan?" Shizuo asked, answering the phone before it even had the chance to ring twice. "Is everything okay?" concern lacing his voice as he spoke.

"Stop buying me gifts, you're going to run out of money soon." Izaya ran his free hand through his hair, still not sure that he was actually doing this.

"You have no need to fear for my finances, Izaya-chan. I know my limits."

"I don't think you do," Izaya protested. He set the phone on speaker and swung around to the computer. He started hacking into Shizuo's bank files.

"Izaya-chan. What are you doing?" Shizuo asked after a minute of silence save for the clicking of the keyboard and mouse.

"I'm moving some of my money to your bank account so you're not going to go broke buying my presents, you protozoan." Izaya denied that he was blushing yet again, focusing instead on what he was doing.

"Why would you even want to do that?" Shizuo asked. The smugness in his voice almost made Izaya stop.

"Because… that's why," Izaya couldn't think of an answer to give, smart or cocky otherwise. "So just take the damn money and stop doing this kind of stuff."

"Not until my Izaya-chan goes on a date with me."

"I am NOT dating you, Shizuo," Izaya bit out as he finalized the transfer. "I don't want to date you and you certainly don't want to date me. We're enemies, you know what that means? EN-EM-IES. We hate each other. I don't want you, your 'gifts' or anything else."

There was a knock on his apartment door and Izaya hung up the phone before Shizuo said anything else. He got up from the desk and went to open the door, wondering who it could be. Namie had taken a sick day so it couldn't be her. Maybe Shinra, though the doctor never came out this way unless he hadn't seen Izaya for a few months.

Of course it was Shizuo. Izaya wondered why he was surprised as he opened the door to reveal the blond.

"If you hate me so much why are you wearing the hoodie I bought you?" Shizuo asked, leaning in close. Izaya bit his lower lip and backed away from the face that was far too close to his own.

"I just ran out of my other clothes, don't read into it," Izaya excused quickly. Shizuo looked past Izaya and into the apartment.

"I see you haven't discarded any of the flowers I sent either. Are you sure you really hate this, Izaya-chan?"

"YES!" Izaya said vehemently. "

"Really? Because I think if you actually hated it, hated me. You'd have thrown these gifts out already and gone on with your life. You'd have blocked my number entirely rather than just sending me texts back telling me to shut up. You'd have actively hunted me down to 'persuade' me to give up pursuing you, and that persuasion will involve a knife. I don't think you want this to stop, Izaya-chan."

Now Shizuo was in the apartment and the door closed behind him, making Izaya feel trapped. He felt like a mouse, caught by a great cat and was about to be eaten. He hated feeling this out of control, this weak. It was stupid, dumb, to have become prey so easily when once he was a hunter. Shizuo was getting closer, his eyes holding a dangerous glint behind his shades. Izaya gulped, the backs of his legs hitting the couch's arm rest.

"It's okay to admit you have feeling too, Izaya-chan," Shizuo's voice had taken on a husky tone, getting closer still. "After all, I love you."

Then Izaya had fallen back onto the couch and Shizuo was looming above him. His face getting closer, and closer. Izaya closed his eyes.

And woke up.

Izaya sat up from his desk with a jolt, his heart thumping a mile a minute in his chest. That had certainly been a different kind of dream than he was used to having. He moved the mouse to wake his computer up. The monitor showed that he had transferred money to Shizuo's account, so that part was real. It was just the action of calling Shizuo that had been the dream. To confirm that he checked his phone history. He had several new texts from Shizuo, but no calls.

 _Have you eaten yet?_

 _When was your last trip out to Ikebukuro anyway?_

A photo of a café. _Think you'd like to come with me?_

 _Have you eaten dinner?_

 _You know. This is the longest you've gone without answering me._ Izaya set the phone down and rubbed his eyes. Despite having just taken a good six-hour nap, he was still tired.

He was always tired lately.


	6. Chapter 6

Shizuo sighed as he sat down on his couch, his head falling back onto the head rest; feet resting on the coffee table. Today had been especially tiring, Tom didn't know when to quit. The job was done and what hours of the day remained were his alone, at least. It was his own fault that he was working so much these days too. He didn't really need the money, not after a mysteriously large amount of cash had been transferred to his bank account overnight. He knew that Izaya had done it, but he couldn't fathom why.

The raven had pushed off every single one of his advances so far, even if they were half-hearted. Why would he transfer money to Shizuo? Was it repayment for all the gifts he'd been sending? That had to be it, but it didn't make sense. The louse hated him, wouldn't he gain pleasure from seeing Shizuo go completely broke? Unless… unless Izaya didn't actually hate him anymore and Celty was right. He didn't think that she would ever be correct in this, but there was a first time for everything.

It had started as just a passing conversation between the two of them. Shizuo had been patched up by Shinra again and Izaya was in the other room, not that anyone told him that. He always knew where the flea was, it was just how he worked. Celty was keeping an eye on him, probably to make sure he didn't seek out Izaya.

"I don't know why you're watching me; I know the flea is here." Shizuo took a drag from his cigarette.

Celty typed on her phone rapidly. _How do you know where he is all the time?_

Shizuo shrugged his uninjured shoulder, eyes closed as he enjoyed his smoke. "I always know where he is, it's been that way since school."

Celty was typing again, he lazily opened one eye to read what she had to say. _It's said that soulmates are always aware of where their other half is._

Shizuo choked on his smoke, if that was at all possible. Soulmates? Him and that flea? Yeah right! They hated each other, always have, always would. It was just how the world worked. "No, no, no, I think you got a couple screws loose if you think that, Celty. No offense."

 _None taken. It was just a thought._

It wasn't just a thought, at least for Shizuo it wasn't. It started out as a passing horror, but it slowly transcended into something of an obsession. Each of his encounters with the flea he would become hyper aware of the flea. From the expressions he made, rarely changing, to the way he moved. Whenever he entered a building he would always see if he could sense the flea, eight of ten times being correct. The other two times were because the flea had just left. It became absolutely maddening. How could he have slipped into this kind of obsession so fast? He still hated the flea, that hadn't changed. Yet now he couldn't stop seeing him everywhere he went. He swore he even saw Izaya in a couple of stray cats on the street that he stopped to pet. The louse was everywhere.

It drove him to such a point that he went to ask Shinra to recommend a discreet mental doc to help him. Luck would have it though that when he arrived at the apartment Izaya was there too. He didn't even have to knock on Shinra's door to feel the flea's presence. Damn. He knocked anyways, resigning himself to getting rid of the flea before he asked Shinra for the recommendation.

The door swung open and before he could react Izaya was skipping out, dancing around Shizuo. "Later Shinra! And bye Shizu-chan!" Izaya called as he skipped away.

Shizuo, for once, ignored Izaya and entered the apartment. Shinra was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, looking more tired than ever. "Was the louse that annoying today?" Shizuo asked as he sat down beside Shinra.

Shinra groaned. "Oh, Shizuo. You have no idea." Shinra stood up. "Can you wait a minute? I have to go make a phone call and I don't think it can wait for long."

"Take your time. It's not an emergency." Shinra nodded and left the room, leaving Shizuo to wait, as though Shinra were an actual doctor and this was a doctor's office. Shizuo noticed some bottles of pills sitting on the table. Even if Shinra was careless with his drugs, Celty normally picked the mess up for him. It was strange that they were just sitting so openly.

Maybe they were for Izaya? Becoming curious Shizuo picked up one of the bottles and turned it over in his hand, reading the label. Antidepressants. Huh, Shizuo couldn't say he was surprised. Anyone with the personality of Izaya's would have mental issues, it made sense that depression would be one of them. He set the pills back down and noticed that some of the books on the table were for dealing with anxiety and depression. One of the books was open on a coping with anxiety page. The flea had insecurity issues too? That was surprising, more so than the depression was. Granted, there was no guarantee that this was for Izaya. Maybe there had been another patient in here before the louse.

Shinra came back into the room and saw Shizuo reading the book on the table. "Sorry, I should have cleaned that up."

"Is this for the flea?" Shizuo asked as he closed the book.

"At this point it's probably more for me than Izaya. I swear, I think I'm more broken than he is at the end of every day."

Shizuo quirked an eyebrow at that. "Is it that bad?"

Shinra blinked, seeming surprised at the question. "You've never noticed have you? Izaya is one of the most messed up people I know, Shizuo. And not just in the sadistic way that you hate him for. He just won't open up to anyone or anything and there's been nothing I can do."

The blond frowned. "I know the louse is messed up, and I'm not surprised by this," he gestured to the table. "I guess I just never cared. He's a menace on society, being a bit off in the head doesn't excuse his actions."

Shinra didn't seem to like that statement, but he didn't counter it. "Everyone has a reason for doing the things they do, Shizuo. Anyways, what did you need?"

"I think I've found it, thanks doc." Shizuo had all but forgotten about getting himself help, he didn't need it really. He wasn't messed up in the head like a certain flea was.

It was the same day that Shizuo spotted Izaya skipping along the streets like he normally did. Curious, rather than screaming, Shizuo followed instead. He needed to cure his obsession of the flea, and if this led to the cure, then so be it. The flea frolicked into a… flower shop? Shizuo was surprised to say the least about the flea deciding to enter such a building. Izaya acted girly every now and then, but he didn't know the flea had a thing for flowers. Then again, there wasn't a lot he knew about the flea.

So much he didn't know, as he soon found out. Izaya came out of the shop with a bundle of white flowers and continued down the streets. Shizuo followed, wondering if Izaya had a girl in his life or something. He didn't know why the thought of Izaya with a girl made him slightly upset, but it did. He pushed the feeling aside and focused on following Izaya. Which was no simple task, given who he was. It took another two blocks before Izaya came to a stop beside a light pole. Shizuo frowned as he watched Izaya place the flowers on the sidewalk before getting up and walking away, hands in his pockets, no longer skipping. Shizuo went across the street to look at the flowers. They were beside a small cross planted into the cement. A photo of a young girl in a frame beside it. The girl was no one, Shizuo even took a moment to look her up. No relation to Izaya, nothing to her. Just a kid who died in an accident, one in a million.

So why?

Past that he'd see Izaya place flowers at various graves on the streets when he thought no one was looking. A weird thing for a man who gained pleasure from torturing girls into committing suicide. Shizuo began to follow Izaya just as frequently as he initiated fights with the flea. It was weird having to jump back and forth between fighting and following, but it was something he became accustomed to. And he was glad he did. He didn't know how little he knew about the flea.

Very little indeed.

Izaya was a bag of harm mixed with kindness, an adjective Shizuo never would have thought that he'd use on the flea. One minute he'd be selling information between gangs like there was no tomorrow. Next moment he'd… be feeding stray cats? Donating money to a children's ward at a hospital? Leaving flowers on graves and helping people around town?

Most of these nicer acts were done dressed in various oversized hoodies and an occasional beanie, rather than his trademark coat. Shizuo couldn't wrap his head around the idea of Izaya being actually _decent_. He was a pest on society! He even texted Celty at one point and asked her if she had known. Thus he had ended up taking several photos of Izaya doing nice things to prove to her that what he said was true. Then it took a full week for him to decide that Izaya wasn't playing some elaborate scheme to mess with everyone, that his actions were sincere.

The weirdness didn't end there. The one constant between info broker flea, and nice person Izaya, were his happy-go-lucky attitude. The difference between these Izayas and when he was alone, was the lack of that attitude. As Shizuo spied on him he saw it, first once. Then twice, then countless times after. Every time Izaya thought no one was looking, his smile would drop and his eyes became distant. It was hard to watch sometimes.

Then he began to notice it even when he was chasing Izaya. The way Izaya's grin would look a little forced some days. Then his taunts and threats began to carry less bite too them, Shizuo knew too much. He had to force himself into acting like he was angry whenever he saw the raven. Because he wasn't, angry that is, not anymore. He hadn't been for a long time, as he had come to realize.

It was late at night that Shizuo finally realized how it was. Izaya was as human as the rest of them. He had his good traits, and his not so good traits. He made mistakes, and he was flawed. He was just a human, probably more so than the rest of them. He says he loves humanity and places himself above because he fears rejection.

It wasn't until much later that Shizuo realized he had feelings for Izaya. It was late at night when he was walking home after a long, tiring, day. He wasn't in the mood for anything, and had even growled at a couple people who stared at him too long. He just wanted to kick off his shoes, read a book, and go to sleep. Fate argued against him.

It was like any old alleyway, except this one screamed. Shizuo stopped and stared into it, unable to see anything but the hazy outlines of several people. A gang, probably beating up some defenseless person. He really was too tired to be doing this. Shizuo stepped into the alley, getting ready to knock some dirt-bags to the ground. When he got closer their outlines turned into full-fledged people, and he almost wished he hadn't seen.

It was Izaya. He was drugged beyond belief, laying on the ground with his pants down. Above him a gang member was unbuckling his own pants. The others were standing around their friend, encouraging him. Even though Izaya was probably so drugged up he didn't know what was happening, a few tears still leaked from his eyes.

That was all it took.

Shizuo yelled in rage and charged at the offending gang. They reacted slowly, which hurt them more. He got a good few smacks into their faces before they pulled themselves together and high-tailed it out. One shot a gun at him in an effort to defend, but failed miserably as his hands shook more than an earthquake. Shizuo slammed the gun aside and this gang member received not only a hit to the face, but was slammed against a wall too.

"He's mine," Shizuo growled as the gang wisely retreated. "Anyone who so much as even looks at him will be going through me. You got that? He's mine!"

When what's left of the gang had scrapped themselves together and left, Shizuo turned his full attention to Izaya. He pulled the raven's clothes back on and effortlessly lifted the far too small man into his arms. He had no idea if he had arrived soon enough to prevent… damage.

"Shizuuuuu…" Izaya said as he looked up at the blond. "What you doing here, Shizuuu?"

"Protecting what's mine," Shizuo said gently, a complete one eighty from what had been but a moment before.

Izaya giggled as Shizuo carried him out of the alley, heading to Shinra's. "I belong to Shizuuu then?" Izaya asked. He didn't wait for an answer before continuing. "I belong to Shizuu. I can live with that."

"You are so high right now."

"Ahhh, feels nice to not feel at all." Izaya's head lolled against Shizuo's shoulder and he fell asleep. As Shizuo walked, quickly, to Shinra's he thought about what he had said. Did he really mean it? Yes. Yes, he had. He couldn't imagine anyone else touching Izaya, whether on good or bad terms. Izaya was his.

Now he just had to prove that to the world. And, more importantly, to Izaya.


	7. Chapter 7

Izaya woke up with a headache that screamed for attention. Two cups of coffee later and he still felt it rattling within the chasms of his mind, slamming on walls and demanding to be heard. He almost canceled all his appointments right then and there, too tired from lack of sleep, and in too much pain to be willing to see people. Indecision had ensnared him as, over his third cup of coffee, he debated telling Namie not to come in today. So caught up with indecision the woman in question showed up while he had still been deciding.

"You look like shit," she commented as she started on her filing.

"Thanks, I was aiming for that look today," Izaya bit back; not really feeling up to it. Namie seemed surprised by his lack of enthusiastic meddling like normal.

"Did you get smashed last night or something?" she asked, trying to sound disinterested but failing.

"Nope," Izaya said shortly, turning to his computer screen. The hint was obvious; he didn't want to talk right then.

His phone buzzed and he briefly spared a glance to the text from, predictably, Shizuo. _Good morning,_ was all it said. Normally the morning texts were followed by a request for a date or something, so it was odd that such question was absent today. Maybe Shizuo wasn't feeling well either.

Izaya's mind flashed back to the dream from yesterday, wondering if he should text Shizuo back. Had he seen the money transfer? If he had, why hasn't he said anything yet? What if the protozoan was using him to just extort money? Izaya had sent back an awfully large sum, not at all equal to that which was spent on the presents. Maybe Shizuo was just going to keep guilt tripping him into giving money until the protozoan didn't have to work anymore. Was the debt-collector even smart enough to do that? Maybe Izaya had been underestimating him this whole time and Shizuo was actually really smart and had been working towards this since school… Maybe-

Stop. Izaya placed his head in his hands, elbows on desk. Stop thinking, it won't get him anywhere. It wasn't helping him; it was hurting him. He glanced up briefly to see Namie watching him, she looked away after their eyes locked. Curious, but not caring. It's what he expected of his assistant, much better than the unpredictability that was Shizuo.

Right?

The day was slow and painful. His headache was long and painful, medicine didn't help, and coffee only made him think faster. He met with his clients, faking his health the whole way. It wasn't hard, not that it should have been. He was used to it by this point, and knew what to do. By mid-afternoon though he had to call it a day. He sent Namie home with only a parting glance from her, words unspoken. He didn't answer her silent question, for he had no answer.

He canceled the rest of his appointments, sent a couple emails, then he had the day to himself. He was bored too. He groaned as he spun in his chair, regretting it for agitating his headache. He picked himself up off the chair, too soon as the room did a small spin. Whatever. Grabbing his fur-trimmed coat, he left the apartment, going to Ikebukuro. Hopefully he wouldn't see Shizuo there.

His only conclusion, life hates him. It had not even been five minutes into his adventure when he saw the blond head in the crowd. Izaya was surprised at how afraid he was of letting the blond see him. He didn't want to have to deal with the blond, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Maybe he'd be willing to deal with the old Shizuo, his Shizu-chan. That was a maybe too though because Izaya really didn't know if he could ever go back to the old ways at this point. Maybe they were forever broken.

Izaya made to quickly escape before the blond turned and noticed him. His feet stopped dead in front of an alley though, a vague warning in the back of his mind. Danger, alleys were dangerous. He couldn't remember why though, and shook the fear off. Whatever, probably just his headache making him think weird things. Right now the priority was getting away from Shizuo, not worrying about the state of his sanity.

Once he went through several alleys he decided that it was safe, the blond wouldn't find him three streets over. At least, he wouldn't immediately. Izaya stood hesitantly in one alley, about to step off into the street. What if Shizuo heard from someone else that he was here? He shouldn't have worn his coat today if he wanted to avoid the blond, such a stupid move.

A cough from beside a dumpster startled Izaya from his thoughts. His switchblade came out it a flash as he spun around. An older man was huddled beside the dumpster, a homeless person. "Don't mind me," the old man rasped. "I'm too tired to be dealing with you kids these days anyways. Just keep your gang stuff to yourself and I'll keep me to myself."

"I'm not in any such gang," Izaya responded automatically.

"Hoho, really? Well you can't be up to anything good if you're in this place."

"Doesn't that speak the same for you?"

The old man intertwined his fingers and pulled them to his chest, almost as if he were praying when really he was trying to retain warmth. His whole body was wracked with shivers from the cold air. "Well, I've done my fair share of shady deeds. A place like this is befitting of one such as myself." The old man shook his gloved finger at Izaya. "My advice to you, son. Keep out of whatever shady stuff you got yourself into. Find a decent job and a decent partner who'll treat you right. Saves you from having to go through more pain than necessary, saves you from having to end up like me."

"I'll keep that in mind." Izaya took off his coat and handed it to the old man. "Take this, it's not much; but maybe it'll help."

The old man stared at the coat as though it would rise up and attack him at any second. Izaya was used to such reactions by now, and patiently waited. Soon enough the old man took his coat and slipped it on. "Thank you, son."

"Don't call me that," Izaya said gruffly. As an afterthought he added. "There's a twenty in the left pocket, get yourself something warm to eat." Without another word or glance Izaya left the alley. At least this way he wouldn't be so easily recognized by strangers who could report him to Shizuo. Yeah, that was why he did it.

And he did NOT stop to pet a cat. Nope, didn't happen.

The only problem was that now he was cold too. He shivered, rubbing his arms to try to get warmth in them. Hugging himself he continued to wander around Ikebukuro. Maybe he'd go to Shinra's. He did need to stop in and grab some supplies anyways. But he could erase the nagging doubt that he'd see Shizuo if he tried. His head did hurt a lot right then, so maybe it would be best if he went…

Shizuo, the bastard, took that choice from him too, as the blond seemed suddenly fond of doing. A tap on his shoulder as he rounded the corner. Izaya flinched at the touch and spun around, reaching to his pocket for his blade. Holding the blade in front of him, Izaya faced the blond. Faster than the raven could follow, the blade was taken from him by the blond, and replaced with a warm cup. Shizuo held a similar cup and in his other hand he now held Izaya's blade.

"I assume you know that you'll never see this again, right?" he asked, nodding to the offending weapon.

"Are you just going to leave me defenseless?" Izaya asked, with a slight bite to his tone.

"You're not defenseless, I'm here," Shizuo responded. "Now drink, it'll warm you up."

"I'm not drinking something you gave me. It might be poisoned."

"You're without a knife, Izaya-chan. I can just cave your skull in if I wanted to kill you. Which I don't want to."

Shizuo had a definite point there. Izaya begrudgingly took a sip of the drink, surprised as the chocolate taste in the drink. He had been expecting coffee. "It's hot chocolate," Shizuo needlessly clarified. "I assumed you drank enough coffee for a lifetime today as it is."

"Now you're trying to control what I consume too, Shizuo?" Izaya asked with a small grin, reminiscent of his antics not but a few weeks ago.

"Making sure you don't kill yourself," Shizuo took a sip from his own beverage. "What are you doing out here anyways? Not that I'm not glad to see you, of course."

"Of course," Izaya muttered back. "I was… I was bored and I was going to go see Shinra." Izaya watched the slight look of disappointment cross Shizuo's face at his words. What was he disappointed about? Izaya seeing Shinra?

"Well, can I walk you there?"

"You'd do it anyways even if I said no," Izaya guessed.

Shizuo looked slightly offended at the idea of it. "If you said no I'd leave."

"You've never left before," the info-broker pointed out. "So why would you leave now?"

"Because I asked if you wanted me to," Shizuo shrugged, as though that sentence explained everything.

Izaya sighed in defeat, he wasn't going to be getting any more out of Shizuo. "Well, I didn't really need to see Shinra, so there's no need to come with me."

"You said you were bored?" Shizuo offered with a tilt to his head.

Izaya regretted having said that as he now feels like he's about to be roped into doing something with Shizuo instead of a day by himself. "Yeah…"

Shizuo smiled, not a smirk, a smile. "Come on then, I know something that'll entertain you for a little while at least." Without warning, Shizuo took Izaya's hand and began leading him, ignoring the raven's protests. Izaya looked down at their joint hands, a light flush overcoming his face. Around them people were again staring, making him self-conscious and uncomfortable. Without his coat, and alone, people didn't easily recognize him. With Shizuo though there was no mistaking who he was.

"Just ignore them," Shizuo suggested, seeing Izaya's furtive glances. "They'll be back to their own lives soon enough, and stop poking into ours."

Izaya nodded and looked again to their hands, fingers now intertwined. "You can let go of me now."

"Nope. You may run away from me, Izaya-chan."

Izaya heard a few people around them snicker at hearing that, making his blush deepen. Was Shizuo's goal to embarrass him or just to drive him insane? He peered up at the large blond and saw him glaring. Not at Izaya though, but at the people who had laughed. A silent warning to not do that again or else.

The place Shizuo had in mind to take him was, oddly, a bookstore. It was a small stand-alone shop on the corner. "Books?" Izaya questioned as they walked into the shop.

"Books," Shizuo confirmed. "I'm not taking you to a weapon's shop and buying knives for you. And neither of us would go to the mall or something. But you read, I've seen your apartment. So, books."

"You don't have to buy any for me," Izaya protested.

"I don't have to be here at all," Shizuo responded. "Yet here I am. Sometimes, Izaya-chan. We humans do things because we want to not because we have to." As Shizuo spoke he released Izaya's hand back to him. Izaya didn't quite know what to say. So he said nothing at all.

The bookstore was nearly empty save an old craggy man in the corner who was working the register. Leaving them to roam around as they would like. Shizuo had to be the one to lead because Izaya had no intention of moving without prompting. The only thing that made the situation bearable, in Izaya's eyes, was that the hot chocolate was halfway decent.

Shizuo started on one end of the store, and slowly lead Izaya to the other. There wasn't a section they didn't stop in, it took forever. What amazed Izaya was that Shizuo seemed generally interested in finding something to buy him. Izaya denied all the books that Shizuo offered him to look at, not even touching one. He was trying to get Shizuo angry with him, trying to get him to react like he normally did. Anything to bring back the Shizuo he knew, and not this weird creature.

Nothing worked.

Shizuo ended up deciding to grab a few books for Izaya anyways and bought them. Izaya didn't know what he found worst. The fact that Shizuo bought him things, again. Or that he actually had chosen items that Izaya had an interest in. How did the blond monster even know what he liked? It's not like they'd ever hung out or something. Past today that is, Izaya realized. Maybe Shizuo had seen his collection when he came over that one time? That had to be it, who knew the blond would be so observant.

As they exited the store, Shizuo was carrying the bag of Izaya's books. Izaya shivered as the winter air blew harshly at him, missing his jacket. They walked for a while; to where, Izaya didn't know. The silence stretched between them, louder than the noise of the city around them. "Why me, Shizuo?" Izaya asked after a good 10 minutes.

"What do you mean, Izaya-chan?" Shizuo asked mildly.

"Why are you doing this? I… you hate me, so why?"

The sun was setting and it's dying light made it look like Shizuo's hair was glowing gold. "I have my reasons. You don't have to worry about it, Izaya-chan. Just know that I love you."

Izaya blushed a deep red as he heard those words again. Shizuo was just messing with his head, he couldn't mean that. Right? Right? The question that had started as a mild annoyance had quickly grown into a serious issue. He needed to know.

Now.

Izaya stopped on the sidewalk, the crowd going around him like water around a rock. Shizuo made it a bit farther before he noticed that Izaya was no longer following him. Shizuo came right back and looked down at Izaya, having the audacity to look concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Don't fuck with me," Izaya snapped. He looked at the ground rather than Shizuo, unable to meet those eyes that were staring at him. Staring straight into his soul. He shied away from Shizuo when the larger man took a step forward. Shizuo was just messing with him, he didn't mean any of this. The moment Izaya began to believe it was real, he'd be shown that it wasn't real at all. He'd be crushed, may not recover from it. What game was Shizuo even playing? He was fucking with his head! Maybe that's what he deserved though, for all his mind games and torment. Maybe this was just a taste of his own medicine. He didn't like the flavor. He hated this, he hated this, hated this.

Hated this.

"I get it okay!" Izaya yelled, his emotions coming to a head. "Quit fucking with me Shizuo! You've made your point. Messing with people isn't fun for the person on the other end, okay? It's not like I didn't know that already. I'm not an idiot, I knew what I was doing, you don't have to prove that to me."

It was raining on them. No, that was wrong. The rain wasn't rain at all; it was his tears. He was crying; in public. He was crying in public, in front of Shizuo. It'd been so long since he'd done this he didn't even recognize the foreign feeling on his face. The stinging in his eyes. "I'm done playing this game, Shizuo," he was surprised at the own pain in his voice. Was he really that upset over this? "Just leave me alone." Izaya didn't wait for Shizuo to say anything. He didn't wait for Shizuo to admit that he had been playing him for a fool the whole time.

He didn't want to hear it.

Izaya ran away.


	8. Chapter 8

Izaya didn't stop running for a long time after that. He didn't know where he was going, just that he had to get away from Shizuo, from the confusion, from the thoughts in his head. His legs burned but he didn't stop. His arms itched, but he didn't stop. His head hurt, and still he went on.

He didn't know for how long he ran, just until his feet started to fail him entirely. At that point he climbed up the nearest fire-escape to the roof of a building, not caring which building. His vision was too blurred to take notice anyways. He was crying, dammit. He shouldn't cry. He was Orihara Izaya, the infamous informant who plagued Ikebukuro. He was stronger than this. This was pathetic. He might as well be pathetic too.

The roof was empty of people, thankfully. A railing surrounding it to keep people from falling. Izaya leaned against said railing, his mind going twelve directions of improbable. He wanted the pain in his chest to stop, the sting in his eyes to stop. He could always jump; the building was high enough. He had considered such an action before, welcomed it actually. He always pulled himself back though, right before the step. He didn't need to die, he just needed to be punished for what he's done, what he does. Death wasn't an answer, as much as it seemed like it now.

Still, he wasn't afraid to toe the line with death. He climbed over the guard railing and stood, toes suspended over the side. The wind whipped his face, biting into his skin with its chill. He felt more alive than he had in a while, standing up there. A small smile graced his face as he felt how close to death he was. He didn't even have to move… just let go. Then it'd all end.

He wasn't strong enough to do that though. He wasn't weak enough to do that either.

He stood there for a long while, just staring at nothing, his eyes began to sting more from the wind in his face than actual tears at that point. That's the thing about having good cry episodes, they normally don't last very long, ten to fifteen minutes. He wondered if the city knew what has happened in recent weeks. If they knew that the supposed monster of Ikebukuro was trying to become something special with the true monster. What would they be saying if they knew? Did Shizuo tell Celty and Shinra? He hadn't seen those two in a while. Outside of Namie and Shizuo, he hadn't really seen anyone in a while. Odd.

He supposed that from an outsider's perspective it looked like he was preparing himself to jump. One moment he was standing there, the next minute arms were wrapped around his chest, pulling him over the railing again before he could say anything. He gave a shout as he landed in someone's lap. "Don't jump," Shizuo said, somewhere between a command and a beg. "Don't jump, don't jump, don't jump."

Izaya stared up at the blond, who had lost his shades. The blond looked like what Izaya probably had just a few minutes ago. Eyes on the verge of tears, his whole body shaking with suppressed emotions. Izaya stared at him in wonder. How was he able to fake tears and emotions like that? This kind of acting surpassed even Izaya's capabilities. Maybe it was his brother giving Shizuo lessons or something? That had to be it, yeah.

"I wasn't going to jump," Izaya said quietly. "I have too much to live for after all," his words weren't all that honest sounding, not that either of them could blame him for sounding so hollow. It's been a rough day.

"Don't fuck with me, Izaya." The raven didn't miss that Shizuo had dropped the '-chan'. "I know that you're depressed, and that you were going to jump. Please, don't jump. Am I the one driving you to do this? Have I been hurting you somehow? I'll stop, I'll leave you alone, just please don't jump."

Izaya squirmed in Shizuo's lap, trying to get away from the blond's tightening grip. "For the last time, Shizuo! I. Wasn't. Going. To. Jump! Now let me go!" Despite his protest and his struggles, the blond wasn't buying any of it. Izaya eventually had to stop and accept his place on Shizuo's lap, because the blond wasn't letting him go anytime soon.

They sat in silence on the roof for the longest time, Izaya trapped within Shizuo's

crushing embrace. Neither said anything, just watched the birds flying above them. Listened to the sounds of the city below them. Shizuo hadn't loosened his grip at all, despite Izaya's hopes. It wasn't necessarily… uncomfortable being held like this. Certainly it was a first, Izaya couldn't even remember a family member holding him. It was kind of awkward though because he was supposed to be hating Shizuo's guts right now for playing with him. Not sitting in his lap.

Soon the rooftop cold started to bite into his skin, making him shiver despite Shizuo's warmth. The blond noticed this and quickly pulled off his vest, loosening his hold on Izaya as he did so. It was to Izaya's surprise that he didn't bother leaving the lap of his sworn enemy. He didn't care anymore, apparently. Shizuo wrapped his vest around Izaya, the large cloth serving more like a blanket than an article of clothing given that the raven was several sizes smaller than Shizuo.

"Let's go somewhere warmer, okay?" Shizuo's voice had a hesitance to it that Izaya hadn't heard from either version of the blond. It spoke volumes as to how uncertain the debt-collector was about everything. It made him more… human, a word Izaya would never have thought he would associate with the blond.

"'Kay" Izaya responded after a lot of effort. It was hard to resist the habits ingrained into him. To run, fight, and annoy his way out of a situation. He chose instead to follow his heart in this matter, even if it was beating erratically in his rib-cage. He hoped Shizuo couldn't feel that.

Izaya tried to climb off of Shizuo and this time the blond let him. Izaya stood, keeping the vest wrapped around him. Shizuo smiled and lead the way to the door. They climbed down from the building they were in and soon enough were on the streets again, walking side by side. Shizuo seemed content and happy, oddly enough. Izaya was having difficulties keeping his breathing steady. He still had questions to ask Shizuo, things he needed to get out in the open between them. Like whether Shizuo was playing him for a fool or not. Or that Izaya wasn't actually trying to kill himself, he was just living on the edge; literally. Yet... for the moment, this was enough.

Shizuo took Izaya to Russia Sushi, a good medium for both of them. Going to one of their apartments would have been a bit much considering Izaya wasn't comfortable with Shizuo to actively invite him to his home, or accept an invitation from Shizuo to go to his. It also wasn't like either of them were overly welcome any other public place, be it Ikebukuro, or Shinjuku. Simon was standing on the street handing out fliers when they approached. He grinned broadly at seeing the two of them together. "See! No fighting is good! Sushi is good. Come eat sushi." The way Simon took their being together in stride set Izaya at ease. The stares were slowly becoming too much, several times on the way over Izaya almost asked Shizuo if they could just go back to one of their apartments.

Simon gave them a private room so they wouldn't have to deal with the stares of the people around them. Shizuo and Izaya both thanked him before he took their orders and left. Leaving the silence between them once more, like a tangible thing in the air.

"You know," Shizuo said. "Even if I was going to believe you about not jumping. I don't think you'd have a good reason as to why you were standing on the edge like that…?"

He left it as a question, inviting Izaya to answer should he actually have a reason. He didn't have a reason for standing on the edge like that, at least; not one he could easily explain to Shizuo. "What makes you think I'm depressed?" Izaya deflected.

Shizuo grimaced, seeing what he was doing. Yet the blond let it go. "I was at Shinra's and saw the medication and books you refused to take, just after you left. It doesn't take a genius to piece it together."

Izaya folded his arms across his chest. "I'm not depressed, Shizuo. Those were for… Namie, my assistant."

"You need to lie better than that."

Izaya scowled at Shizuo. "Well sorry, it's been a rough day."

Shizuo sighed at Izaya's tone of voice. Running a hand through his hair, he nodded. "Sorry, Izaya-chan. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. You still are the best liar in Ikebukuro, I just see through them is all."

"How though?" Izaya asked, leaning forward. "How can you suddenly be like… like this!" It's not natural for someone to have a 180 personality flip. People didn't change overnight, all his observations of humanity proved that point. They were all the same deep down, but they put different masks on, and those masks were hard to change. Hard to make, hard to replace. It took time and energy to change a mask, more time and energy than most people had willpower for.

"Maybe I was always like 'this', as you put it, and this is just the first time you've seen me." Shizuo shrugged his shoulders, leaning back on his hands in contrast to Izaya's position. "People aren't always as two-dimensional as you make them out to be, Izaya-chan. Sometimes people can be surprising."

"It's not natural," Izaya grumbled, disconcerted. "I'm used to being the manipulator after all. And after these past weeks with you bothering me constantly, I feel like I'm the one being manipulated."  
Shizuo threw his head back, his chest heaving as he laughed. Tears pricked the corners of the blond's eyes that he had to take his glasses off to remove. He smiled at Izaya, a full tooth smile that made his mocha eyes glitter in the light. "I'm sorry," he said, sounding honest despite how his shoulders still shook with suppressed mirth. "I just find it funny that you feel so intimidated by me being more manipulative than you are." He chuckled again as he said it, as though it were the punchline to a joke. "I'm so used to people being afraid of me for my strength, not for my personality or intellect. It's certainly not what I was aiming for with you, Izaya-chan. It is… refreshing though, to be noticed for something asides from my brawn."  
Izaya scoffed. "I never noticed you for your strength, Shizuo." He clapped a hand over his mouth after he spoke, cursing internally.

"Haah?" Shizuo's eyes widened and his eyebrows crawled up his forehead. "You haven't?"

"No, yes." Izaya scratched the back of his head. "Yes, at first. Later it was because… well…" Izaya looked away from Shizuo's piercing gaze. "In school, people didn't want to be around me a whole lot. They ran away a lot from me. You didn't like me either, but you ran towards me rather than away. It was different, it's what makes you unpredictable."

Shizuo smiled. "I think I can live with that."


	9. Chapter 9

That was the start of a sort of rhythm between the two. Izaya still couldn't fully believe that Shizuo wasn't pulling his leg with the whole 'wanting to make Izaya his,' but he was willing to play the game. Shizuo for his part had grown increasingly present in Izaya's life, so much so it was to the point that it was rare that Izaya didn't see Shizuo at least three times a day.

They were both busy people, something Shizuo expressed regrets about all the time. They met normally for lunch somewhere in Ikebukuro. If not lunch then it'd be for coffee and/or hot chocolate, while they walked around town on Shizuo's breaks. Izaya started taking his jobs in the city again, something Shiki was pleased with. Shiki had admitted that he had been getting close to hunting Izaya down and forcing him to get back to work. Izaya was glad he hadn't. Izaya's work took up a large amount of time, both day and night. In addition to that, it was sporadic when he was needed. Sometimes the information couldn't wait and he'd have to cancel on Shizuo. That or they'd be in the middle of their… meetings? And Izaya would get a call from him and have to run off again.

They didn't stop fighting completely either, though the fights were far more mild than they had been. Shizuo never lost his temper around Izaya anymore, an amazing feat given not but a few months ago he'd be in a rage whenever Izaya was within a mile of him. Granted those rages had been simple acting, something that Izaya hadn't been able to realize. Now that he was so even tempered Izaya found himself losing his temper around Shizuo when they fought. Several times he ended up shouting at the blond before storming away.

The main thing they argued about was Izaya's job. Shizuo had been asking him to quit, something Izaya didn't want to think of. "It's dangerous," Shizuo says for what had to have been the thousandth time.

"Life is dangerous, Shizuo. You can't make me change my life completely!" It wasn't disputed between the two that Shizuo had been changing Izaya's life. The debt-collector had been making it his second job to take care of Izaya. The blond continued to make sure he was eating enough, taking his antidepressants, and getting enough sleep. One time they had met up and Shizuo somehow knew that Izaya had been up all night. Shizuo had promptly taken him to a nearby park where they wouldn't be disturbed, parked them both under a tree, and made Izaya take a nap.

Izaya had taken to wearing makeup to cover the dark circles and bruises that came with his line of work. He didn't want that incident to repeat, and he didn't want to know what Shizuo would do if he ever saw Izaya injured.

"I can provide enough for both of us. You have no reason to keep working as some shady informant."

Izaya sighed. "We're not married, Shizuo. We don't even live together, you don't need to 'provide' for me. Besides, even if I had wanted to quit my job, which I don't, Shiki would hunt me down and kill us both."

"I'd protect you from him," Shizuo argued.

"Shiki wasn't the point. This is my life, Shizuo. I need to live it the way I want, and this is what I want."

Shizuo took on a smirk, his eyes flashing. Izaya knew that look well by this point, the blond was going to say or do something weird. "Well," Shizuo said huskily. "I guess I'll just have to make my Izaya-chan love me enough to want to leave that sort of danger and spend even more time with me."

Izaya hid his face in his hands, not giving Shizuo the satisfaction of seeing his face. "Your work is dangerous too, Shizuo."

"Ah but I'm the biggest danger, and Izaya-chan calms me down. If I had Izaya-chan working with me too then I can make sure Izaya-chan is always safe and not destroy as much as I normally do. I bet I could even get Tom to pay you, if it's making your own income you're so concerned about."

"Pay me for what? Damage control?"

"Well you'd be better at it than Tom is."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Can I hold your hand?" Shizuo asked Izaya as they walked through the night streets of the city.

"You've never asked me before," Izaya noted. They were walking really close together, their shoulders brushing every now and again. It was cold tonight, too cold for any sane person to be walking around. Shizuo couldn't feel the cold though, and Izaya was bundled up in so many layers that he probably looked like a dough ball.

"That's because I needed you to follow me before. Now it's because I just want to. "

"Well… Okay then." Izaya buried his nose into the red scarf Shizuo had bought him as a particularly harsh gust of wind came at them. Shizuo intertwined their fingers, locking them together as they walked under the orange lights.

"Coming out tonight probably wasn't the smartest of ideas," Shizuo said, looking down at Izaya. "Your ears are all red."

"How are yours not?" Izaya demanded. "Seriously, you're like a walking heater! I wish I was that impervious to the elements."

Shizuo smiled. "It's a talent. Come on, I'll walk you back to your place."

Izaya shook his head. "I have some business here before I go home, Shizu-chan. There's a gang that needs info, I have to meet them soon. "

"I'll go with you then."

Izaya glanced up and made sure that Shizuo was being serious. "That may not be the best idea," Izaya hedged. "You are pretty well known amongst gangs after all…" Which was mainly Izaya's fault. "They probably would ditch if they saw you with me."

"I'll just stay out of the way then." Shizuo offered. "I'll hide around the corner or something. Then I'll walk you home."

Izaya couldn't think of a really good argument to that, so he shrugged and started leading the way. He didn't need to look at Shizuo to know that the man was on edge now, his whole body tense. Izaya felt the pressure too, but for a different reason. He wasn't sure how comfortable he was with Shizuo seeing him work. The blond has seen it before, and the blond knows what it is that Izaya does. Yet, it felt different this time.

He felt ashamed of his work.

Izaya shrugged the feeling off as best he could, but it wasn't enough to totally ignore the sense of dread. Two blocks before the agreed meeting place, Izaya had Shizuo fall back so it didn't look like they were coming together. Even though they were still within shouting range of each other, Izaya felt the cold in the space that Shizuo left behind.

Naturally the gang was already waiting for him when he arrived, as he did have a rep for keeping people waiting. What stood out though was how the gang leered at him, making him want to shiver. He fought the instinct down, showing weakness was probably the worst thing he could do at that moment. "You the guys that wanted information on the Blue Squares?" Izaya asked, already knowing they were.

"Yeah, also we," the de facto leader of the group gestured to he and his friends. "Were thinking maybe you could help us out with something else too…"

Izaya pulled out his switchblade without a second thought. He didn't like the tone of the man, or the way his groupies snickered and eyeballed him. He wanted to call out for Shizuo to come get him out of here. No. He couldn't do that, it'd just be admitting that he was growing soft, growing weak. He was depending on the blond more than he should as it is.

"Sorry, boys, I only deal in information."

"Well it is information we were hoping you could help us out with."

"Oh?" Izaya raised one of his eyebrows.

The man had gotten closer, his friends too, backing Izaya against a wall. "Yeah. See we need information on how much dick Orihara Izaya can handle."

Izaya swiped his blade in a wide arc, making the people back off. "I don't think so." The men backed up from him, but kept their circle and leers. Was Shizuo close enough to hear what was going on? Would he come here soon?

What if Shizuo abandoned him here and let him be raped? What if Shizuo's goal all along was to make him trust and then break him? That'd be the best joke of the century if so, something Izaya should have done to someone else. Now he was going to die. Or worse, he was going to live.

The gang managed to wrestle his knife from him and had him pinned to the ground. He was scared, more scared than he had ever been in his life. Where was Shizuo? He felt tears prick the corner of his eyes as his coat and scarf were ripped off of him.

"Pansy is so weak he can't even stand a bit of the cold?" mocked one of the gang members.

"SHIZUO!" Izaya screamed, his fear and desperation escaping him in one large scream.

The gang was momentarily taken aback by Izaya calling out his former sworn enemy's name. They paused in their actions, looking between each other; wondering if they had heard it correctly.

The next thing Izaya knew was screaming, and not by him. There were screams of fright, pain, and an anger so massive it could have been a volcano going off. The weight on Izaya's back was ripped off of him and flung against a nearby wall. Izaya let out a breath as his lungs had room to breathe again. The strength had left his limbs though and now he was left just breathing on the cold ground. Horror at what had almost happened to him squirmed within his gut like a parasite. He also felt something poking the back of his mind, something that said this had almost happened before. He couldn't form any concrete memories of it though, was he imagining it? He had to be…

Hands wrapped around his middle, pulling him up and into a body. Izaya didn't have to look to know it was Shizuo, the smell of smoke being a clue enough. Izaya turned himself around in Shizuo's embrace so he had his face pressed into Shizuo's chest, his tears escaping his eyes. "Shh," Shizuo stroked Izaya's hair with one hand. "It's okay, I've got you. You're safe, no one is going to hurt you." He continued to speak comfortingly for several minutes while Izaya shook like a leaf on the wind.

After what seemed like forever Izaya finally had calmed down enough to pull back a bit. Except he didn't want to leave the safe circle that was Shizuo. The blond started to pull back a bit, sending a wave of panic into Izaya. He tried to burry himself back into Shizuo.

"Hey, hey, hey," Shizuo said gently, as though Izaya were a thing made of glass. "I'm not going anywhere, shhh, it's okay."

"Don't leave," Izaya begged. He didn't want to be alone.

"I'm always here, Izaya-chan," Shizuo promised. "Let's get you somewhere warm now. It's not good for you to be out here so long without a jacket."

It was true, the cold's bite was getting more noticeable. The gang had managed to rip Izaya's jacket and scarf away from him during his struggles, and he didn't want to get them back. They were tainted items now.

They stood up and left the alley. Izaya stayed pressed to Shizuo's side as they walked home, his hand intertwined with Shizuo's. Izaya shied away from the alley's they passed, making the walk back longer as Shizuo kept them to the main streets. The blond worried over Izaya's mental state as he leads the raven home. Maybe it'd only last the night, or a week at most. It broke the debt-collector's heart to see Izaya so scared.

When they got back to Izaya's apartment Izaya opted to take a shower immediately, not that Shizuo could blame him. While Izaya washed off the night, Shizuo took a smoke, one he desperately needed. Sitting on the couch in the flea's apartment, Shizuo noticed how dry it was. There was nothing really personal in here, all of it just the necessities. Not even really any photos. How sad.

When Izaya came out of the shower he was wearing the black hoodie that Shizuo had bought him. It came down to about mid-thigh and the sleeves covered his hands so that only the tips of his fingers showed. Shizuo had to fight down a blush, he had been right. It was adorable.

Shizuo thought at this point Izaya was going to kick him out. Or at least say something. Instead, Izaya just sat down on the couch beside Shizuo and snuggled into his side, not saying a word. Shizuo wrapped an arm around him and just let the raven be. They both needed this.

It wasn't long before Izaya started yawning. Dammit, the yawns were the kind kittens did, it was cute too. Shizuo smiled down at Izaya, who was rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Come on, Izaya-chan. You need sleep."

"Mmm," was Izaya's only response. Shizuo stood up and lifted Izaya off the couch, the latter being too tired to even protest to the manhandling. Shizuo carried Izaya into the bedroom and got him under the covers. Why did he even have such a large bed if he was so small?

As Shizuo was turning to leave a hand shot out and grabbed him by the back of his shirt. "Stay?" Izaya asked quietly. Shizuo looked back at saw the red eyes glittering in the dark. There was definite fear in them, fear of Shizuo leaving. There was also a hesitancy at having to show such weakness to Shizuo. More importantly though, Izaya wanted him here.

Progress.

"Of course." Shizuo climbed under the covers besides Izaya and didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around the raven. "I'll always protect you, Izaya-chan," Shizuo whispered softly to the seemingly sleeping man.

"Promise?" Izaya asked, equally as soft. Shizuo didn't need to see to know that Izaya was blushing as he asked that. He was glad it was dark enough that Izaya couldn't see that he was blushing too.

"Promise."


End file.
